The American In London – Part 10

And so another year has come to an end, another year of life as it were has come to an end and yes i am talking to you my dear friend, who is reading this on your phone or tablet on your bed or coffee shop or toilet ( and if you are please wash your hands don’t scroll anymore until you do so). Any who shall we continue for one last read for this year.

If i don’t say so myself this year has its ups and down like roller coaster at a theme park on a hot summers day,  but it has taught me along the way some lessons as well.  but we will get into that later or along the way, but for now lets start with whats to come and my hope for you the reader who is reading or the empty space of internet that is on at the moment wherever you are.  Tomorrow, a new year will start, which means new opportunities will arise and they will test your faith, remember what I told you before, if  you rememeber at all every choice you make, changes your future. so think before you do, but remember whatever you choice you make your family and friends will be there to support you along the way, you are never alone. Tomorrow a new you will be will be born and the old you is in the past now time to focus on the present and make a new future, from this past year learn from it and grow with it and heal from it, my dear you have suffered enough time to let go of the pain and like I said before you are reborn now and nothing will stop you. Make this year your year,  think of this new year as a second chance you’ve been wanting to take that leap of faith and let this year find the answers you have been looking for, cause  I know just around the corner you will find it this year let it consume you and let it guide you. remember you are never lost in the darkness, there is light at the end of the tunnel. and believe me my dear let this year give you hope you need to move forward and let go the past, find your answers but then move forward. tomorrow it begins the new chapter in your life and make this year your year because its time for it.  but also this year my friend I hope you find balance in your life, work hard but don’t let your work consume your life, I mean don’t make this life all just about work and you forget to live. I hope this year you find love as well,  but love for all the right reasons and not for the wrong, believe me I know you know better and also life to short for anything be low you. I want this year for you to remember who you are and know that its never to late to go after your dreams, remember its never to late to start creating that life you always dreamed of. This year I hope you always stay true to you and never for second compare yourself to another person, no to souls are the same. You are you and you perfect just the way you are and you are unique and I wouldn’t want you any other way. This year I want you to put  your faith in the universe and trust that everything happens for a reason, and always know something is greater out there for you is coming trust me I know….

and one last food for thought my friends and readers around the world who has been with me from the beginning, please get off your phone or tablet get out of your pjs and appreciate life, this moment. stop looking out your window and saying I wish go out there and do it and say why not to life. and believe me next year this time, nothing will be the same….


The American In London Part 9 -You

Good Morning or Good evening depending on where in the world you are reading this and from where you may reading whether it may be in your bed or at home on your desk or even in the coffee shop down the road closes to your nearest hardware shop, or even at the park. but regardless no matter where you are this entry this one is for you ladies and guys as well. I know i am not the first one to talk about this topic but I know I wont be the last to talk about it.

I would like to touch upon self-esteem, because i feel as photographer I see it more and more common today, and I know many of you out there are not comfortable in your skin. Your probably maybe thinking, here we go again i heard this all before and probably thinking what does he know. well what if told you that the true beauty of a women is not the shape of your bodies and what you carry, because in this day an age and at least in my opinion that doesn’t matter, the clothes you wear its just material at the end of the day or the way one does there hair there morning and thinks it must be perfect before you leave it, honey let me tell you not that important to be honest, I mean you know what at the end of the day hair is just dead skin cells and keratin. and those who know me. I can guarantee you have seen me with my hair looking like a birds nest. The true beauty of any women is reflected in her soul, the passion one shows and the beauty does stand out. I know, what you are thinking i have heard this all before and one can say, but what about the rule of attraction, between you and me I honestly don’t care what she looks like and if you are one that listens to other people opinions please do me a favour and shut them up off those voices. because at the end of the day who told you that that your cracks or your weight was your flaw? and someone did again tell that person to shut up because they are not perfect either no one is. and Mostly you need to realise that you were hand selected, all beauty and flaw for a reason and not to be replicated be because you are perfect just the way you are. Even as I guy I at one point was going through the the same thing as you, but then i just stoped caring, I didn’t want to become another copy of another, or had to be a certain way just because society said so.
So why not step out of your comfort zone and feel the fresh air, I know what you are thinking its easier said then done, true but you have to start somewhere if you have this wall in front of you bring it down, little by little piece by piece. You can do it and don’t listen to others honesty don’t listen to them. just listen to your self, you got this and inner beauty never looked better on you at the end of the day thats who matters not your boyfriend, or your future husband or vice versa…. Your beautiful whoever you are don’t let anyone tell you other wise.

  The American in London – PART 8 – Human 


There and back again they, say eventually we all must come back to where we all started.  I don’t know where this heading but at least I know with this, I know where I can start and to this goes out the homeless guy that I met that  tonight named Luke who’s Birthday was on the (16/07/17) who just turned nineteen (bare with me on this on one), I know I honestly told him in this person but happy Birthday to him and I hope he gets back on his feet and is able to get back on his feet and get back to his teaching apprenticeship he openly admitted to me he did wrong, but to be honest its not his fault did help that his mom was heroin addict. He did tell me, this though that he wishes there was more people like me who can reach out to him and treat him like human like i did, rather then ignore which at first I just gave me him some change, not enough for what he need, but it was something, because I figured it was going to head to drugs and such…but something happen that I didn’t expect, he walked over to structure (*I guess its best way to describe it) he then just crouched down, covered his face and was crying, how do I know this because I watched him and I went over to him. Actually sat down right in front of him and he wanted to give up right there and then, he telling me about being bullied and all. (* Doesn’t that sound familar) and we had little conversation about hope and everything else. I know what you are gonna say next and go ahead call me stupid, call me a fool, call me all that you want, we got up and I gave a bit more money then loose change and I looked him straight in the eye when I did this and when I did that you can almost see what he was going through, you can tell a lot about someone through eyes, because I saw the pain and  suffering. Then from that moment, I asked him to sit down with him on seats, he doesn’t deserve to be alone on his birthday, when we  sat down was when he told me that was the first time he was treated like a human and how wise I am ( yea thats not true honestly) but any ways he wanted to give some book that was about self help and wellness, but I told him to keep hold of it and he said why because books and no matter what types of books will bring you home. as i flipped through the book I noticed that it was signed from the author and told him that you have something special here, he looked at and he started to cry again…after that he said he was gonna head to place to sleep and I told him Happy Birthday and he said thank you again and goodnight… when he left I had a thought to myself I hope that he finds peace and any demons that is lurking around in his head he finds peace and he becomes the teacher he wants to be in life…


Anyways… I think i hit some heart strings out there… let me see if i can lighten up the mood a bit because I think we all need it, but I don’t think that is going to happen because its me and because also I owe you guys a continuation from the last post so bare with me on this one…breath in………….okay now breath out… good, excellent and lets continue shall we…

but for some reason which cant be explained only that its always the kindest of people that get in the nicest way of putting it well fucked over the hardest. the ones that always look out for others get ignored, and taken for granted the most and the worst part that deep inside you might feel that you are your living life the wrong way, because you actually care for another you are actually human, but let me tell you this its not about you doing things wrong and never think that, its just well most people don’t see eye to eye with you and most people haven’t walked in your shoes to know what you have been through and haven’t been through enough, so they don’t understand why you do what you do and then they just leave you just like that but let me tell you this kid,  you shouldn’t go look for answers in the people that left you, you won’t find the answer you are looking for, no guides, no fulfilment of any kind. your not going to find a map to paradise in the people that you left you, the only thing that you will find will be confusion and tons of questions that you won’t be able to answer and you won’t be able to handle it all and I know people change, but fate tends to do that. So its not your fault and it never will be. Learn to accept the fact people leave and things go the way they need to go not the way you want them to and just try and move on but remember do it for yourself and no one else, do it for you to and heal after all that you have been through and you are worth saving and you deserve so much more and that better things are on the horizon. and the right people will find you and they know where you are and when you get lost they will be there to guide you home ever now and then we need a hand to hold on to take us home. So I wouldn’t worry to much about being alone because right now you are where you have to be, no matter what you feel and want because life is simply preparing you for something better.

The American in London – Part 7 – Thats it…

I think for now my writing bits will come to an end, I mean i have voiced what I could and well thats it…


Just for now just like the genie I will appear again, but for now my friends and strangers who may have come across this, its a pleasure to meet you as anyone who has read this will tell you there will be plenty of grammar mistakes going on, so if you are grammar nazi, well hang on. if you have managed to read all the other entries without throwing your computer or your phone out the window and into the streets then good on you and if you have well… , Anyways lets get this last one going shall we…


Well, not gonna lie I actually forgot about this entry… ohh well better later then never to continue this one, but I will make this one out as open letter because I feel like that it works.

You know its interesting actually, way life works, we start the day fresh, there is no wrong doing unless you managed to burn your breakfast or didn’t check the date of your milk carton that is sitting in your fridge, yea you know who you are… but from the moment you walk out your door the day begins, where every choice you make that day changes your future, have you ever thought to think of that just for second from the simple of choice of which way to get to work, or school or when you will get to these locations that you are heading, because within that time anything can happen and change your future, but within  those changes we need a little courage and little faith to make those choices and hope that they work out in the end and if not to remember to have the courage to rise and start again. you break and you heal and you forgive and you forget and then your heart comes back even stronger than before. because fear can play tricks on us, making us afraid to change course, afraid to move on, but usually hidden behind our fears are second chances waiting to be seized.  Second chances at life…at glory…family…and even at love. And these opportunities don’t come around every day. So when they do, we have to be brave, take a chance and grab them while we can. I mean after all we all deserve to be happy and listen here you don’t have to have your guard up all the time. sometimes its okay to be vulnerable, honestly its okay to break a little to spring from the depth of your own wounds to bloom and to grow from all the things that hurt you along the way, I mean they’re scars for a reason, they don’t hurt anymore  but they’re there to remind you all the things you lived through. the moments that almost killed you are the ones that made you who you are, and made you strong. and I know how broken you are, and how at times you feel like you are carrying the world on your shoulders, but still you have to find the strength and the light in you to move forward and you have to hold on to it with care and never let it go, even if it drags you to the end of of the world, just always remember even when you are showing  your vulnerable, i will tell you this you are not weak and with a heart like that you deserve the world and show much more. You deserve rare people, I am talking about the ones that look into your eyes and discover your soul, who see you for who you truly are, the one that makes you feel comfortable around the ones that you can tell anything to and won’t judge you for who you are…

The American in London -6 – Change and Unexpected events

“There’s going to be a lot of changes in your life,  It’s not the changes that matter, it’s how you react to the changes. I mean, that’s what makes you who you are.”

I know, I know the word “Change” is one of those words that can easily scare someone, because some people are not ready for what is going to happen, but believe me you will just be fine. But with change as the quote says above its how we react to changes that makes us who we are. But then there are the changes that happen unexpected that you can’t explain for whatever reason and you start to question it and the  your mind goes “could this really be happening to me”, from something that is happening so naturally, that you don’t want this unexpected good change to stop ( i leave it to you the reader what this unexpected bit, it could be meeting someone new and the way they treat you differently from your past gf or bf or it be a new job opportunity that you make new friends and that leads you to  new adventures honestly it could be anything, but something good though, that makes you smile like a little kid in a candy store, just think of that time when that time happen to you, that unexpected change I know I can think of one event, that happen not that long ago and no I am not referring to moving here) but with the good of these unexpected changes, comes doubt and fear, because then you think to yourself how could this be, this can’t be and you  start to  wonder what is the catch here and etc …have you ever thought just maybe this what you have been waiting for and finally after everything you have been through you finally caught a break and things are turning up for you. So when something like this happens, don’t let these moments go because they were probably brought into your life for a reason, so bring down your walls and just jump…because the best things in life happen when you least expect it, I will end it with these quotes tonight, because i have nothing more to say, this maybe one day I will go back to this and continue this but for now I leave you with these and just maybe you can relate to one of these.

—>On a Side note Thank you to those who took the time to read these passages where ever you maybe, rather it be on the train, bus, walking home, in bed with your cat or dog or maybe after a long day at work. and most of you guys know me already, can ask me anything or if lets say with as far as I have gone with this you liked something, by all means pass it on to another friend who can help them out. even though I know the grammar nazi are really annoyed by the countless mistakes.






The American In London – Part 5 – OPEN

So here we meet again,  I think for once on here since, I just want this to be an open letter to anyone, ( even though you are probably thinking you sent this to me) but its up to you really if you do end up reading these entries really.  I would like to think by me doing these entries different then the first three, maybe some truth will come out of it and if you are reading this then maybe and just maybe you will hear me out, as i said its open letter, which i will cover quite a bit, i know some people hate the fact that I generalise people, which I will openly admit maybe its wrong of me to be like that, but what can I say I am on observant person. Yes, I can be wrong about many things, but hey at the end of the day, I am only Human at the end of the day and also what do I know. So shall we begin this open letter, I will try and keep this short and simple ( but knowing me this won’t happen, but I will and thats all we can ask for really) Shall we begin, wait wait before we jump into it for the grammar nazi out there I will try and keep it minimal the mistakes, as I said I will try, but I am not making any promises on that front.

I think if i am gonna start this open letter, I will like to start off with some thing a bit deep and then transition to something a bit light, well I will see how this goes. I think I want to start this off officially by a common problem now a day and this is  for you going through it and if you are asking what am I referring to its Mental illness, whether it be physical or emotional Bare with me people on this people I know its not  the easiest of topic to discuss, because its quite hard to talk about it, but just hear me out on this one. I know for me it struck both cords, especially when I came here, it was more mental if anything and when I was younger more physical if anything and mental as well, I was that kid that talked himself and thought that was normal, but as you can imagine of course it was not and I got the odd looks and with it comes with the price of being bullied and well everything else that came with especially the pressure of society. As some of you might have read before with my parents splitting when I was young and my mom giving me hard time about grades in school and coming home in fear of bringing home a bad grade, boy that was duck and cover situation. If you asked me what I could remember of my child hood, wasn’t the good times that for sure (maybe a bit of the good times, but I can remember the bad times quite easily). Let me tell you those demons, definitely had a good time messing about with my head, having there own private parties as it were. Especially at night, they played about in my dreams as if it was there own playground and they had good time until final I stepped into my own dream and conquered it head on, but it wasn’t easy let me tell you to get that point.  Mind you I was so young  going through it all, felt alone for most of the time… but I got there in the end. If you wanted to know how, well books played a major factor, because it was safe heaven for me, hence the reason why I am the most happiest is in a book store, tranquil and always a place to discover new lands. Music played a big factor, when i was much younger in order to help me sleep at night, I use to put on my cd player to help me sleep at night and it worked.  Another thing that helped was me to go running, it played such a huge factor mentally, it helped me let go of everything and helped me focus on things that matter most and with music in hand as well, they just worked hand in hand really. and of course the friends around kept my spirits up and just the support really. I know, now what was the cause of it all the demons playing about and everything, my sister also realised it as  well what it was about a good 5 years ago I want to say, maybe more now, since she apologised. If  one wanted to know how I am doing much better  and considering what I went through here in London in the early years here, I will admit those demons did try and pop up again, but it wasn’t until I realised one day, there is more in stake in front of me and I wasn’t just about to let those demons creep back up again, especially when theres someone elses life is on the on the line.

So to anyone going through something or did in the past and probably thinking he doesn’t get what I am going through, you know what you are probably right, I don’t get it but just like you I have been through hell and back and I am came out stronger then ever. So to anyone like me who has opened up to anyone who has been through something and just thought I will open up to this person ( whether it be your friends, your partner or even potential partner, parents) or thought of opening up to anyone ( whether it be your friends, your partner or even potential partner, parents). That person will stand by you and not judge you, its what made you, you and they will always be there for you. Especially if you are with someone or potentially be with that person and you told them what it was that you are gone through, they will stand by you and help in anyway they can. I know thats saying a lot consider the world we live in today, not everyone is a dick head and no one is perfect and to anyone who says other wise do us all a favour and SHUT UP!!

Just to follow this up as well, and I promise you this will get lighter and not so deep. I guess another factor that didn’t help during the dark times was fear…I believe fear plays a big roles in our lives in general, because in some cases it triggers some bad memories and stops the person from doing anything, like jump into a new relationship with someone for example or start to see someone or it could be simply telling someone the honest truth and or start anything really . Fear takes form in all sorts of ways at the end of the day because of past events, but you don’t let fear win and let it define  who you are, because once you do that then you start to push things away and start to put up brick walls and there you have it, especially if it was something that for once in life  that actually made you genuinely happy that you could not explain and not even to yourself and plus who wants to live a full of regrets. So don’t let fear keeping you from anything especially new experiences and that makes you happy. At the end of the day Happiness will always beat fear and at the end of the day, just don’t let fear keep you from doing anything that makes you happy.

But hey what do I know anyways…

The American in London – Part 4 – Time

Hello, you still there? I hope you are there, I hope i didn’t lose you I know its been awhile, but you know life happens. Wait a minute, wait a minute

ahh, there you are behind that bright screen, can I borrow your attention just for a few minutes…

I think the title itself is quite explanatory to what, I am going to talk about, I know what you are thinking spit out already or just get the point. Ohh

don’t get your knickers in a bunch, I am getting there and I promise to make this short and simple for those grammar nazi to not get to upset at the fact of all the grammar problems that you will encounter in this entry, now i got that out of the way, i can dive into it.  Hey you i see just about to hit the switch or the home button and switch to something else more entertaining, sit back down and read the next bits, it could change the way you see things.

Time like linkin park, said once its a valuable thing, we don’t realise how much value it truly is until we actually realise how fast its gone by. I know i can say that because I am about to say its been three years since i left home, and i keep saying its been three years already. shit where has the time gone it was only yesterday, I got picked up and dropped off at my new home, but i guess life happens quicker then we think. To be honest, i think some times life is going to quick, I forget to take the time to enjoy the view and really enjoy life but to be honest it wasn’t until recently as in the last few months that i told myself i wanted to enjoy life and make memories with the people i get into contact with and hear there stories and hear what they have to say and  complain about, your probably thinking, why the hell do you want to hear that, because when you are complaining the other person is probably looking or thinking  something else and gives no fucks remember 80% of the people you complain to don’t care, the other 20% do care, so be the 20% and actually care.  As I have learned, some people all they want in this world is just be heard and listened to and paid attention, yea I am talking to you wise guy who is about to go on to snap chat and see what is going on or that person who is about to switch to Facebook because you rather read the same shit over and over again.

I Know, I am not the first person to say this but Technology has truly seperated us, especially with social media, they say its brings us closer, but it really doesn’t in some cases it does, which is great when it does, but when it doesn’t well its just brings us further.  I know what you are thinking but what a minute but you use Facebook and the other social media, but did you realise how often I actually post something like what I am doing and where I am and what I am doing and who I am with, the difference between you and me I am trying to enjoy life as much as I can and have real conversations with people and not have my phone involved in the conversation. When was the last time you went out and had a real conversation with someone and not stop mid way and be like i have to answer this message or not even say that and just get your phone and dive into your phone conversation, and then you forget what you are talking and you know who you are. So I ask when was the last time you has real conversation, no phone involved or been to a event and  not have your phone out taking pictures and recording every second of the gig and then upload it to some social media format? or my personal favourite when was the last time you actually enjoyed your food and actually dive into your food the minute it comes to your table and you actually enjoyed the people you are with not take a picture and upload every where. Which now it makes sense why our parents told us to get off our phone at the dinner table, because they just wanted to spend time with us not with our phones.

Woooo, now that was mouthful, hey buddy where you thinking you are going, about to switch screens on me again, well looks like we lost one. ohh well I hope the rest will stick around, because i got stories to tell where a phones becomes part of first date and while another that doesn’t. For obvious reason i shall not names of anything of that nature, because I to believe in privacy. So about two months ago my sister when on a date with this guy she met at some local shop in Spain, I thought thats lovely, so after a bit naturally the guy ask her out and they go on date, she says it was nice night the weather was nice lots of people on the streets running about and etc, but then tells me out of no where she goes i felt like I was on a double date with this guy and i go to her what do you mean she tells me the guy was a betting man, so he was constantly checking his phone and being “ look they are ahead” and “ ohh shit” and this went on for most of the night, back and forth and he went on snap chat recording some things going, So I asked my sister did you guys talk at all about anything, she goes we did but then he stoped mid way and checked his phone. So I asked my sister recently did you ever talk to that guy again she said yea i did and I asked him do you remember what wore that night? and his response “ were you wearing a blue dress, with spots on it” and you can imagine what my sister responded “nope it was a red dress” and another question came out from her do you know what i had that night for dinner? “ “Crema Catalana” and her responce no it was “Fabada Asturiana”…… Yup…. it was that bad and yes this actually happen so you tell me? was she really on a date with this guy? technically yes, but say it with me “NOT Really”

ohh look who decides to come back to this entry its mister i would rather be on Instagram and like every other thing. well either way I am glad you are back because i have another story to tell, will you stay for this , this is a tale as old time. Which I made me appreciate, the fact how i was raised not like the guy who went on the date with my sister.. ( no offense, but seriously dude you had to spend the whole time on your phone, really, you are clearly married to your phone)

Anyways, like i said before no names will be revealed and nothing else will be told, just listen to the moral of the story and what a difference it makes when your phone is not involved in a moment. So I say about two weeks ago, I want to say I went on this date with someone ( i can even tell you the weather of that night, but i wont be because no one cares, but i bet that guy earlier couldn’t remember that, he probably would say it was snowing that night) anyways I picked her up and let me tell you something she sure was beautiful that night, I was a bit out of words to be honest at first, then words came out, from the moment I picked her up and till the end of that night, there was no phone insight, just pure one and one conversation about life and another things and if you asked me how much do you remember? I can remember quite from a bit from the night, because i was living in the moment, and not thinking about anything else and thinking about uploading my meal and the score from the game and god knows what that night i didn’t give five fucks who was contacting me, because she was there and she spoke I listened and till now I can trace back that night and I can remember what we talked about on the side walk.
as the movie from Hitch once said “ Life is not the amount of breaths you take, its the moments that take your breath away”

as the movie from Hitch once said “ Life is not the amount of breaths you take, its the moments that take your breath away”

ohh buddy is that smile on your face, that is coming out, did I just hit a cord on your heart, see buddy putting down your phone and being in the moment and living life can bring back memories to help you when you are down. so next time you are out buddy on  date, or even at a event put down the phone or better yet close everything or just put your phone on silent and just live life is passing us by and your living it behind that bright screen. So on that note I will leave you with this and as The Lady of View once said “ Take a little time to enjoy the view” because life is passing you by. so make time for the ones that want to be in your life, don’t close them out  and be like I don’t got time for this, make time and enjoy that time with them and have a human moment with them.


“Did you know the average person spends 4 years of his life looking down at his cell phone? Kind of ironic, ain’t it? How these touch-screens can make us lose touch

But it’s no wonder in a world filled with iMac’s, iPads and iPhones So many “i”‘s, so many selfies, not enough “us”‘s and “we”‘s See, technology Has made us more selfish and separate than ever Cause while it claims to connect us, connection has gotten no better And let me must express first An anti-social network Cause while we may have big friend lists So many of us are friendless All alone Cause friendships and more broken than the screens on our very phones We sit at home on our computers measuring self-worth by numbers of followers and likes Ignoring those who actually love us It seems we’d rather write An angry post than talk to someone who might actually hug us Am I bugging? You tell me Cause I asked a friend the other day, “Let’s meet up face to face.” And said, “Alright. What time you wanna Skype?” I responded with omg, srs, and then a bunch of smh’s And realized what about me? Do I not have the patience to have conversation without abbreviation? This is the generation of media over stimulation Chats have been reduced to snaps The news is 140 characters Videos are 6 seconds at high speed And you wonder why ADD is on the rise faster than 4G LTE But, get a load of this Studies show the attention span of the average adult today Is one second lower than that of a gold fish So if, you’re one of the few people or aquatic animals that have yet to click off or close this video, congratulations Let me finish by saying you do have a choice, yes But this one my friends we cannot Auto-Correct – we must do it ourselves Take control or be controlled, Make a decision Me? No longer do I want to spoil a precious moment by recording it with a phone I’m just gonna keep them I don’t wanna take a picture of all my meals anymore – I ‘m just gonna eat them I don’t want the new app, the new software, or the new update And If I wanna post an old photo, who says I have to wait until Thursday I’m so tired of performing in the pageantry of vanity And conforming to this accepted form of digital insanity Call me crazy but, I imagine a world where we smile when we have low batteries Cause that will mean we’ll be one bar closer – to humanity

  • Prince EA – Can we Auto Correct Humanity